A Song in the Corner of the Past

Aku (Live) by Bonita

rumahbonita @ YT

I’ve been listening to Bonita since I was 15. I heard this song through the radio once. The original version, with the piano in it. I fell in love at first sound.

Her voice and lyrics accompanied me through one of my toughest times. No, I don’t think that I’ve become a fan of her. More like a devoted listener. I searched all corners of Jakarta to find her first album that had the song “Aku” in it. I can still remember how a 15 year-old me went to every music store in town just to look for it. I was so lost. I didn’t know how to contact a management to order the album directly, even though I knew that we were all located in the same city. I felt like my quest was done when I finally found the CD in one of the biggest music store in Jakarta. There was only one CD left.

I still have it. It’s all worn out, but it still plays the most amazing sound.

Obviously, my favorite song would be Aku. It just relieved the hell out of me to know that I wasn’t the only one going through hard times in the world. A parade of songs in her album told me that. “Aku”, “Lepas”, “Sesal”, “Cinta”, “Semu”, all of them kept telling me that I wasn’t alone. Eventually, I passed through my depression well.

When I moved to Palembang, I lost contact with almost all kinds of music news. The town was pretty outdated. I think, at that time Bonita hadn’t reached the internet. She was also so rare in magazines and TV, making it even harder for me to keep track of her music. The only thing I have left was that only CD.

Years gone. I thought she never made an album anymore. Until one day a friend of mine tweeted about her performance.

I was shocked. My friend gave me a link to her website. I learned that she had a band and that she just released her second album. I also learned that she actually got a Twitter. Most of all, I found out that she got a Youtube account. The most breathtaking moment would be when I found a live video of “Aku” in her account.

I’ve embedded the video in this entry. I recommend you to listen to it. Maybe then you’ll have a picture of how I feel everytime I listen to this song. The acoustic guitar, her booming voice, her heart-wrenching lyrics. It’s been five years and this particular song still brings tears to my eyes. It’s been five years and this particular song still has the ability to bring back the dormant memories of you.

It’s been five years. People have come and go, but this song will always be about you. You’ve moved on, and you’re happy now. I moved on and met someone else and got seperated again. I think he’s also happy now. Eventually, I kept moving on, met a new person, got disconnected again. He’s obviously very happy now. I’m not so sure about how I’m doing now, but I’m doing fine. I’m still alive.

In case you wonder, this is the lyrics to “Aku”.

Aku
by Bonita

Saat tiap sudut ruangmu menjadi gelap, apakah terbersit sosok seorang aku? Saat khayalanmu bertaburan penuhi hawa, bolehkah seorang aku ikut serta? Hanya seorang aku. Aku sendiri. Aku. Bila sang terang menciummu dengan sinarnya, apakah seorang aku diperkenankan? Bila segarnya air terbalut indah di tubuhmu, bolehkah seorang aku ikut serta? Hanya seorang aku. Aku sendiri. Aku. Hanya seorang aku. Aku sendiri. Aku. Biarkan pikiranku hidup di kepalamu. Biarkan diriku bersemayam dalam tubuhmu. Dan biarkanlah seorang aku miliki jiwa dan ragamu. Hanya seorang aku. Aku sendiri. Aku. Hanya seorang aku. Aku sendiri. Aku.

Hanya seorang aku. Aku sendiri.

To those who can’t understand Indonesian language, here, I’ve made a translation of the lyrics to the best I could. I’m sorry, Bonita, if I translate it wrong. This is my interpretation of your song.

Me
by Bonita

When each corner of your room turns dark, does an image of me pass you by? When your dreams are scattered around the air, can I come along? Just a single me. Me alone. Me. When the light kisses you with its ray, am I allowed? When the freshness of water wraps itself beautifully around your body, can I come along? Just a single me. Me alone. Me. Just a single me. Me alone. Me. Let the thoughts of me live in your head. Let myself stay in your body. And let a single me own your body and soul. Just a single me. Me alone. Me. Just a single me. Me alone. Me.

Just a single me. Me alone.

I know what you’re thinking. But the song doesn’t always necessarily have to relate to relationships. Once, I could even relate it to family neglection.

It’s been five years. Five damn years. I’ve survived all of them. No one may be able to understand what I really feel towards Bonita’s music. At least I’ve tried to explain. But I believe no one will be able to really understand. When I watched this video, I realized that I missed it so much. So much. All those times. All those feelings. All those lessons. I miss it. I kinda cursed the noisy people in that video. They kept me away from listening to the quiet bliss of the song. But verse by verse went by, as the sounds of chatters and laughters grew louder, I felt like those noises gave just a single right touch of reality and irony to the song. Or maybe the song was already magical by itself.

There are so many things I want to tell this particular singer, but at this point, I can only say thank you. Your words saved me. They really did.